Why?

I find myself day in and day out opening a blank document and just pouring my all into it but as I proofread it I delete it all. I don’t just delete it from my document but from my being as a whole because there are just some things we don’t want to remember. We don’t want to remember the harsh words said by some, we don’t desire to have betrayal rerun through our heads just like old shows on the t.v. They are undesired, but then I thought what is truly undesired the memories themselves or the moment of weakness I had during that time? I sit and I think of people who have cut me out of their lives for no reason whatsoever and I wonder, what if I treated them like the others, the ones who actually didn’t care for them, would they have stayed? Is it the fact that we as humans just love destroying everything in our path or is it we are just so blind to our actions? The aggravation that overwhelms us sometimes when we don’t know the answer to a question or when we know something is wrong but don’t quite know how it is, I remember when I was a child how I would cry over questions on a test when I didn’t know the answers, I don’t cry anymore because I mustn’t show others my times of fragility but I bash my head and I leave so agitated when I am simply dumbfounded. Those emotions this type of overflow of emotions it comes over me like a giant wave when I just sit and wonder a simple small question, why? Why did he/she leave, why have I been left with no one when I gave everyone someone, why was it that when I was selfless I was stepped on but the conceded bigots have people praising them? Then at the end of it when it becomes so atrocious at thought I ask myself why grovel and mourn at those who left me and fill myself with self pity?

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One thought on “Why?

  1. I found through the years that people come and go each person leaving a mark on our lives. Most teach us something of value, whether good or bad. We must not blame ourselves for others weaknesses, we must not allow our hearts to harden. Allow the beauty you posess from within to always illuminate your path and the path of others.

    S

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