Mother are you there? I’m beginning to understand now, all those lessons you prayed I would learn one day. Mother I get it all so much more now, I still can’t fully comprehend the lectures and the lessons but I sit here now in the midst of the night and I think I am beginning to understand just why you beckoned I should listen to you. I sat so many years claiming you had no clue what you were saying, that this is a new era, a new generation and how could you understand what I a child of this day and age was going through. It’s funny really, so many times you would tell me to be the better person, to always love and never to hurt those who brought me distraught. I could never fathom why anyone would do such an act because we live in a society that believes an eye for an eye, and so that is exactly what I did, I would seek revenge on those whom have hurt me and I’m sorry mother for I didn’t listen to you. I went for so long doing just that, living my life by treating others the way they treated me and while doing so I unconsciously became as cold as the world I was brought into. I remember the day you came to me and you looked me in the eyes and you begged of me to promise you never to hurt a living soul if possible, and I promised you just that, but I knew it was an empty promise because it has already happened. My mind has kept me up the past few days and today I have come to the realization that it is because of my lifestyle. As I said before I was living a life by treating others the way they treat me but I was now unconsciously hurting others that didn’t treat me as the rest. I grew so cold I could never see the good in peoples actions and I simply could not believe that anyone truly would try to stay in my life. Mother I am sorry for I have broken your promise time and time again because of my ignorance, I hurt those who never deserved to be hurt and I was hurt by those who deserved no attention from me. Mother I am sorry but I am not sorry, for Mother I am growing, and I see the gold in your wisdom. I pray you forgive me Mother, I pray my children will not have to go through the restless nights I go through now from the pain my conscious holds.


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